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“Mom, bring Spot!: The Importance of Security Items for Children”
By Cherie Hammer
Owner, Cuddle Bug Baby Products
I’ll bet you remember your security blanket or comfort item; I certainly remember mine. “Spot” still maintains a place of honor in my bedroom. He was made out of leopard-print corduroy, lovingly hand sewn by my mother’s dearest friend. His tummy is still indented from me using him as a pillow well into my grade school years.
I can still vividly remember the day in first grade when I broke my elbow. Determined to be the first girl in the class to skip one on the horizontal ladder bars, I swung, missed and landed badly on my arm, twisting my elbow in a most gruesome way. Sitting in the Principal’s office holding my throbbing arm, I overhead the secretary call my mother to pick me up. I’ll never forget her words, “Mrs. Wolfe, you need to come down here right away and get Cherie. She’s broken her arm and I’m sure from the look of it, it will require surgery.” Well with that, I naturally started screaming bloody murder. The secretary gave me the phone and I can still remember sobbing the only words I could get out, “Mom (sob, sob). Bring (sob, sob) Spot (sob)...”
Many babies choose blankets, stuffed animals, or dolls as their “lovey” or comfort item--the thing they need to snuggle up with to sleep or cling to in times of stress. Most child experts advocate the use of a comfort item. Babies naturally begin to bond to a blanket or stuffed animal, regardless of the parents' unique parenting style. It is important to note that attachment to a lovey is not a sign that parents have failed to adequately nurture their child or that they have not bonded. Actually, the opposite is true. Parents who respond to a baby's needs for assurance will instill confidence and self-esteem in their little one. It is this inner strength that will give the child confidence to slowly learn the needed skill of self-comfort.
The Good Housekeeping Illustrated Book of Pregnancy and Baby Care states: “By age eight or nine months, most children form a strong attachment to a favorite toy, a blankets, or a special object. This powerful need for something cuddly will only grow stronger after the first birthday. Experts say it’s a wonderful way for a toddler to cope with the fears and frustrations of growing up, so don’t worry about it or try to persuade your baby to give it up. Keep it handy. Tell baby sitters about it, and be assured that having a security blanket will help her as she separates from you. If she adopts a blanket, cut it in half or buy a duplicate one, so that you have a spare should she lose the original or when it needs to be washed.”1
Research by to the American Psychological Association in 1997 showed that “bringing along a child’s security blanket, (or other ‘security item’) may actually make routine medical exams go smoother when mom is unable to accompany the child.” They tested stress levels of children with and without their blankets and with and without their mothers. They found that when children needed medical attention and their mothers could not be with them, having the security blanket brought the children’s stress level to approximately the same level it would be had the mother been there. 2 This shows the very powerful affect such seemingly little things can have on a child.
If a child is going to bond to a security item, it generally happens sometime late in their first year or sometime during their second year of life. As with all things with babies, routine seems to help. Obviously a parent can’t force a child to bond with a certain item. But if a blanket or teddy become part of baby’s regular bedtime routine, she will more likely attach to it since it is something she’s familiar with. If your child seems drawn to a particular item, incorporate it into your daily nap and sleeping routine.
Security blankets don’t substitute completely for parental love and support. They are, however, for many children a natural part of childhood. The world can be a scary place to a baby or toddler: night times are dark, wind rattles the windows, dreams seem no different than reality, and doctors have to give shots. Having a favorite security blanket or item can be a source of comfort for both the child and the parent. And when you are all grown up, they make a nice decoration for your room!
Cherie Hammer
Owner, Cuddle Bug Baby Products
www.cuddlebugbaby.com
chammer@cuddlebugbaby.com
1 The Good Housekeeping Illustrated Book of Pregnancy & Baby Care, Hearst Books, New York, 1990, page 163.
2 American Psychological Associate Press Release, August 8, 1997.
Bio:
Cherie Hammer is a San Francisco Bay Area native and resident. After nearly a 15-year career on Wall Street and working as a senior product manager and producer with several high tech consumer software companies, she left the corporate world completely after the birth of her first son. A few months later she launched her first entrepreneurial venture, Cuddle Bug Baby Products (formerly The Sweet Pea Company), which produces unique accessories for babies and toddlers. She has an MBA from the University of California, Berkeley. She is married to a wonderfully understanding and supportive man who is an executive at a Silicon Valley start-up company. They have one son and one daughter. Her web site is http://www.cuddlebugbaby.com
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